Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
2014年1月18日 14:09
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
2014年1月18日 08:20
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
2014年1月18日 06:20
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
2014年1月17日 22:43
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
2014年1月17日 22:41
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
2014年1月17日 00:37
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
2014年1月16日 19:44
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
2014年1月16日 19:30
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
2014年1月16日 15:39
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
2014年1月16日 15:38
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
2014年1月16日 12:23
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
2014年1月16日 12:23
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
2014年1月16日 08:54
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
2014年1月16日 08:54
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
2014年1月16日 05:20
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
2014年1月16日 05:20
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
2014年1月16日 01:27
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
2014年1月15日 21:28
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
2014年1月14日 22:59
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
2014年1月14日 22:58
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?